Ashes
by Naomi Wild
Summary: A depressed young ballerina has lost her only love in the opera fire. Her dream life slowly evolves into a nightmare. Will her feeling for the phantom ever be more then hate? Includes sinister and romantic moments.
1. Bed Of Ashes

He had been unlike any other. The day we had met was still imprinted in my cloud of memories. The details are hazy but I vaguely remember him. We had immediately connected. Madam Giry knew that I couldn't have any other man as my partner. Everyone else danced, but we shared something so much more then a dance. It was spiritual. We had passion. Madame Giry couldn't help but show us off that night. She proudly placed us in front of all the other dancers.

The day we had shared our first kiss was my favorite memory. We had giggled all the way to the rooftop. He had promised me that he had a present for me, but I knew he was lying by the look in his eyes. He had actually asked me. He hadn't grabbed me or dishonored me in any way. He simply folded his hands and calmly asked me if he could give me a kiss. He gently held my hands as our lips joined. I can almost still feel his warm breath and large tender lips moving slowly against mine. Before the performance he had said three words. "I love you." I had no idea they would be his last.

I sunk my head deep within the pile of ash staring at the remains of what had been my dream. The only one I loved and my home leaked through my fingers and combined with its surrounding ash on the floor.

What do I do now? I have nothing left. The heartless flames had separated me from my love. I could only watch as they overtook him. I had tried to leap within the flames to share in his fate but they were too cruel to allow my peace. Someone had seized me by the arms and flung me outside to have me watch the only home I ever knew fall in flames. The only light source for me now was the moon that shined through what used to be the ceiling where the chandelier was hung. I already knew that deep within it was too late for light. My soul is now a shadow. I no longer belong in light.

I can barely remember anything now. I have forgotten what I look like. I am a thin pale girl. My paleness is slowly fading underneath all the ash. My rosy cheeks, tiny nose, and wavy blond hair are now black. My eyes were already nearly black. Even my lashes are now thick with ash. My dress was torn down the middle during the wild dash towards the exit. The tare now serves as my undergarment display. I didn't bother to cover my mouth as the ash filled my lungs and I started a coughing fit. My eyes began to sting and tears welled in my eyes. I've become that which I hate and love the most. I collapsed and buried my face in my hands. My sobs could not express the extent of my agony. I laid down and hugged my knees on top of my bed of broken dreams. There I sank into a tangle of prolonged nightmares. All of them involved fire.

I awoke miserably with a massive headache. My stomach screamed for nourishment. I tried to lift my head but as I did the room began to spin. I hadn't eaten in days. The idea of food made me want to hurl. I closed my eyes trying to imagine myself somewhere else, anywhere else but here. My eyes caught something in front of me. I crawled closer to take a better look. A massive pit was in the center of what used to be the stage. My mouth dropped in shock. I couldn't believe it was still there. When the man had been unmasked he had cut the rope that supported the chandelier in rage and had escaped in this hole. This had been were the artificial fire was. I traced a finger around the edge of it to see if it was real. I reached a hand inside the darkness. I felt nothing but cold damp air.

The man that killed my beloved Gian lies in that pit of darkness. I looked around for a loose object. A piece of chandelier glass twinkled in the moonlight. I grabbed it and chucked it into the hole then listened for its fall. Not long afterwards I heard a tiny splash. I estimated that the fall wasn't too far down. I didn't even care that I might be falling into a deep twelve foot pool of water. The only thought that crossed my mind was how satisfying it would be to stand over the killer's dead body. I dreamed of ripping out his eyes with my bare hands and sinking my fingernails into his skin. I rolled my head around in pleasure. I had never experienced such a blood thirst. I found the whole idea exciting. I reached for another piece of glass. This time I made sure it had a sharp point. I had gone far past the point of sanity and I knew it. I licked the tears from my skin and began to laugh bitterly. I licked the sharp glass and savored the sting and trickle of my blood.

"Tonight phantom you have a date with destiny," I yelled before choking on my own laughter and tears.


	2. Slipping Away

I wasn't as prepared as I hoped when I fell on my knees rather then on my feet and rammed my right temple on the side of a stone wall. Blurs of light from the concoction circled in front of my eyes. When they left they revealed nothing but darkness.

I nearly screamed as the cold water met my skin. The water reeked of death. The rising aroma filled the air and mocked my very existence. I could feel a pavement. The water was only a small puddle. My dress had absorbed most of the water.

I couldn't see a thing, but I didn't care. I continued forward slowly waving my arms in front of me to keep myself from running into any objects. My head was spinning even more. It burned now with pain. I grabbed the side of my head with one hand, but continued walking. My dress became heavier and heavier to the point that I nearly collapsed. I unbuttoned it and left it behind me. I felt relieved as the dead weight was lifted from me. I was now in only underwear but I felt no shame.

The water became deeper with each step. I now had to take a dozen turns were the pavement in front of my hands curved. I prayed that the water wouldn't go much deeper. It was now past my knees. With each step my hopelessness intensified. There was no going back now. This would be my grave. Time slowed down as my foot collided with an obstacle. I fell face forward and my nose broke my fall. A stomach-turning crack came from my nose. I screamed as a tingling sensation ran through my face. I had fallen on a stairway. I helplessly pushed myself to the top and rocked back and forth hugging my knees trying to focus on something other then the pain. I could no longer bind the tears within. I was without a home, without a man to love, and now I had brought myself to my own grave. I had believed that I had no fear left, but I was wrong. I looked around the darkness for any sign of light. I felt as if I was trapped inside a small cage.

I could no longer ignore my thirst. I hadn't had anything to drink in days. I pushed myself down the steps and cupped some of the water in my hands. I knew that it was probably filthy. I could feel the tiny grains of dirt and ash floating around in my hand. Regardless, I hastily gulped down the vile liquid. I tried to ignore the taste as it slid down my dry throat. It tasted like mud. I cupped my hands and drank more. After a few handfuls I was still unsatisfied so I buried my face in the water gulping down as much as I could. I would rather die of poisoning from this lake then die of starvation. After I had nearly made myself sick I leaned back on the cold stone floor. I hugged my arms and slid my hands up and down to try and provide myself warmth. My whole body was damp. I whimpered softly as I began to shiver. I could feel my nose throbbing rapidly. I cried out in pain. My stomach felt as if it was shrinking within. I bit my lip as it fiercely rumbled sending a wave of emotions and pain through my broken body.

_Slowly Denise! Move your hips slowly! Don't attack your partner dance with him!_

_I gazed back at Gian. His eyes asked me permission to touch me the way Madame Giry had instructed. I nodded. My cheeks flushed a dark shade of red as he softly placed one hand on my hip and the below my armpit. I closed my eyes and twirled my hands rhythmically as he traced the line of my dress. I bit my lip wondering if I was supposed to be comfortable with the position. We both did as we were told until all wondering eyes had left us. Well at least eyes that could be seen. _

_When everyone had left the room I asked him, "Can we practice for a little while longer?" I wanted to be in his arms again. _

_We started in our correct positions. I tried to appear strictly professional not allowing my mouth to drop or eyes meet his. I wanted him to believe I had no interest in him whatsoever. As he twirled me around and held me from behind around the waist he nearly lost his constrictive attitude and dug his face in my hair taking a whiff of my scent. I grabbed his hand before he could move it. _

"_Don't let go," I begged him softly. _

I awoke with a sneeze.It took me a few moments to contemplate that what had happened was only a dream. I was still in the dark with nothing but underwear on. I tried to sit up. My head became heavier and heavier. It felt as if it would roll off my shoulders. My whole body tingled when I touched anything. It felt as if a brick was tied to my forehead. My throat was unbelievably sore.

"I have a fever," I realized. I squeezed my stomach as another violent volcano within erupted. I couldn't feel anything other then pain. Dots of light began to cover my eyes once more. My senses abandoned me as I slipped away from the world.


	3. Opening My Eyes

When I awoke I was half asleep and half awake. I felt so woozy I didn't even notice the pain. I knew I was hallucinating when I saw Gian standing above me stoking my cheek. I could even feel his warm hands. I didn't care if it was a dream.

"Perhaps I'm in heaven," I thought to myself. No, I was still on the stairway. I had truly gone insane.

"Gian, my dear Gian," I cooed softly running his hand down my cheek to allow him to feel my tears.

"It's ok. I'm here now," he said calming me. He crossed his legs, placed my head in his lap, and began stroking my hair. His voice was deeper then usual.

"Never leave me again," I begged him while straining to sit up. I pulled his lips onto mine and moved mine up and down upon his. I could feel his lips and taste his breath! I desperately laid on the ground and allowed him to move above me. I nearly gasped in shock as he slid his cool tongue in my mouth. He had never done something so profane to me before. I tried to softly nudge him off me to tell him I wasn't comfortable.

"Be gentle with me," I urged him. He didn't move. He seized my wrists and grasped them tightly.

"Please let me go," I begged him. New tears streamed down my face. He ignored me and continued his harsh movements. I no longer returned his kisses. I began to whimper and cry out. He ran his tongue down the right side of my face.

"Please Gian let me go, your hurting me!" I cried.

"Christine," he murmured. With that my eyes truly opened.


	4. The Man

"I can't see!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. All I could see was a blur of swirling lights and color. A dozen candles must have been lit in the room. I must have lost my sight from the concoction before.

Had my experience been a dream? It had seemed so real. I had felt Gian's lips. My lips were now dry from the saliva.

All of a sudden I was lifted off my feet. I was in a strong man's arms.

"Let me go!" I screamed so loudly my echo raged through the cave-like room. I pounded on the man's chest and barbarically kicked my legs.

"I'm trying to help you stubborn jack," a deep male voice spat.

I continued to yell and scream kicking my legs and flinging my arms at his face. He roughly grabbed my hands with one hand while balancing my body on the other. He was unbelievably strong. I continued to kick my legs causing him to loose his balance and we both fell to the floor with a loud crash. The man cursed loudly as I tried to scramble away. I knew even if I tried to run away I had nowhere to go. It wasn't long till a sweaty pair of hands grabbed my ankles and pulled me backwards. I screeched not caring that my throat was sore. The man grabbed me harshly by my waist and pulled my body to his in an awkward position that made it impossible for me to move. I tried to ignore the many muscles I could feel through his thin shirt. This wasn't Gian, I knew this for sure. Gian didn't have such large hands and such a muscular chest.

The man slammed me roughly on a comfortable surface. I felt below me to try and figure out what I was sitting on. I guessed it was a bed by the many pillows and soft sheets. I listened intently to try and detect were he was. From a distance I could hear faint footsteps and the splashing of water. Then came more footsteps, this time they got louder. The noise stopped at my right side and I heard the splashing of water again coming from the same direction.

"Lay down," the deep cruel voice instructed me. I was completely shocked by his words assuming he was going to violate my body

"Excuse me?" I shouted in disbelief.

"Your nose and head are both badly swollen they need medical attention," He told me, A hint of anger still ringing in his voice. I was somewhat relieved by his answer, but remained intent to his actions.

A damp cloth patted on the right side of my head. The coolness of the water was refreshing, but I slapped the stranger's hand away not wanting him to touch me. He paused for a moment. I expected him to strike me. His breath quickened ferociously with rage.

"Do you desire your pretty little face to remain swollen forever or do you wish to recover?" he threatened. I paused for a moment not wishing to give in, but I knew I couldn't tend to my wounds by myself.

"Fine," I gave in with a sigh. His large hands began kneading down my face. I closed my eyes enjoying his soft touch. My aching body finally had some attention.

"This is going to hurt," He warned me. Before I could stop him he roughly grabbed my nose in-between two fingers, snapping it back in place. I cried out in pain and rolled on my side away from his grasp.

"You're a skinny little thing," he commented. I finally remembered I wasn't in anything but my white corset and bloomers. I could feel my cheeks grow warm. He had probably looked over my entire body once or twice by now seeing as I couldn't see to comment his wandering eyes. Sure enough I had a nice body, but that didn't mean I wanted strangers looking upon it as if it were their own.

"Have you had anything to eat lately?" he asked me. I suddenly sat up straighter. The thought of him having food lit a flame of hope within me.

"No, not for about a week now," I said. I waited for a moment as he walked around praying that he was getting some food.

"Here," he said placing something large in my hands. I felt it for a second to identify what it was and broke it in half. It was two firsts full of bread. I hastily stuffed an entire half in my mouth abandoning my manners and forgetting to thank him. It hadn't taken me long to consume the entire thing.

After I was done chewing I asked him, "Who are you?" He paused for a moment as if he was considering my question.

"You can call me whatever you wish. It doesn't make much of a difference now does it?" He said.

"You still haven't answered my question." I said softly to avoid his anger. He never answered me, just simply ignored my nags.

"Did he burn down your home too?" I asked him.

"Who?" He asked roughly.

"The opera ghost," I nearly whispered.

Silence filled the room. The only sounds that could be heard were that of the water dripping off the walls and stirring of the lake. For a moment I could even hear the man's faint breathing.

"Did I upset you?" I asked almost shocking myself with my concern for his emotions. I was still quite angry with him for snapping my nose back in place without asking me first.

"No, but I'd like it if you would not mention it again." He demanded coldly. His tone caused me to shiver.

"What, about burning buildings or the opera ghost?" I asked regretting it afterwards. He roughly grabbed my wrist causing me to squeal in pain.

"I will gladly allow you to stay here and I will take care of you while you are here, but do well to acknowledge the fact that my patience runs very thin," he grunted in my ear. As soon as he was finished he left me alone to allow me to huddle in a ball and cry.

I am alone in the dark. This temperamental man may be the only human contact I receive in weeks. I may never be able to see daylight again.


	5. Memories and Silence

The soft sound of bells and a familiar tune filled the room thinning the thick tension within the air.

"Where had I heard that melody before?"

Memories suddenly began turning in my mind. It had been New Years Eve. I had been watching from a dark corner in awe of all the color and movement. People of all shapes and sizes had come dressed in the most expensive gowns and suits hiding their faces behind masks. Though I did find the idea of masquerade enticing, I had been one of many that hadn't gained enough courage to dress up. The thought of being able to wear a mask for a day and be someone else was an attractive idea, but I wasn't bold enough to pretend I was in an equal position as so many wealthy prudes that paraded around the theater. I was only in scraps so I had been careful to watch from a distance. The women that night were covered in jewelry. They had worn such tight corsets and low cut bodices they looked as if they would fall out of their dresses. The men came wearing the most ridiculous outfits that one could only pull off at such an event. The one outfit that caught my eye the most that night was a rather peculiar one. A man was dressed in a fuzzy black and white striped outfit that made him appear as if he was a rather obese animal. It had been entertaining just watching the people flying across the room so gracefully. I had made sure to not wonder beyond the main halls and risk being seen. Among the stairways and halls of the rooms there were crowds of drunken people doing God knows what. I had managed to fall asleep early regardless of the noise

The next day was full of gossip and rumors. There wasn't a ballerina in the opera house that wasn't willing to describe what I had missed in detail. One girl that was very young, only about 14 told me her version of the story. "That evening a very handsome man had asked me to dance. I had worn a very revealing outfit that night." With that she received a shove and a few rolling eyes from her fellow ballerinas. "Well, as I was saying. That night, once everyone was dancing and having a good time, a man appeared at the top of the staircase. Well I have to admit he was a rather handsome man. No, handsome isn't as strong of a word."

"He was gorgeous!" another young ballerina shouted. With that everyone that was listening burst into a fit of giggles.

The young ballerina continued. "He was both frightening and attractive at the same time. I don't know how to explain it. He had very dark black hair and large green eyes." She said widening her own eyes to give us a visual image. "He was wearing a rather tight red outfit and a white mask with black makeup around his eyes to make his head look like a skull. I nearly had a heart attack when he pulled out his sword," She said fanning herself and sighing to add to the drama. "He walked around ridiculing people and threatening the new owners to perform his opera. Oh and Christine looked so drawn to him, As if she were in a trance."

"Do you truly believe he's a spirit?" I asked almost mockingly.

"Of course!" she answered.

"Perhaps you had **too **much to drink that night." I said sarcastically.

My thoughts were ended with the familiar sound of the mysterious man's voice.

"Good. You're awake," he said tossing something at my feet. "If you wish, you can change into this. I'm sure you would rather wear this then what you are in now."

I hugged my knees to cover the only clothing I bore and explored the material that lay at my feet. It was a dress. I backed away from it stubbornly as if it were poisoned.

"I could **help** you put it on." He threatened.

I grabbed the dress hastily to reassure him. With that he let out a low dark laugh that caused me to shiver. As he walked away I noticed the laces of my corset were undone. He had loosened them in my sleep. I could feel my cheeks turn hot in a mix of embarrassment and fury.

"Did he have a peak show last night?" I wondered. It took me a few moments but I soon realized if he wished to do such a thing he could have done so before. There was no one to stop him. I could already tell this man was clever. He would have tied the laces back properly if he had done such a thing. He had loosened them last night for my comfort. This odd man continues to dodge from anger to kindness. Who knows when he will lash out at me again?

It had taken me at least a half an hour to slip into the dress. The man's constant offers to help only infuriated me more. At first I had trouble with distinguishing between the head hole and arm holes. After what seemed like years of concentration, I had finally buttoned the dress nearly to the top. I decided to let my hair cover the last few buttons that I couldn't reach. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"Are you finished yet?" he asked impatiently.

"Yes," I said proudly. "I didn't even need your help." I slowly stood up to parade my work

He stepped inside the room. I could hear him slowly circle me. After he had journeyed around me twice the room grew silent.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing," he replied coughing.

"What is it?" I asked again with a hint of desperation cracking in my voice.

"Oh it's only a minor detail. You seem to have placed every single button in the wrong hole." He commented dryly.

"What?" I nearly shouted. It couldn't be! I had worked so hard for nothing.

"If you will allow me, I could reverse it very quickly. You won't even notice.

I softly growled in my throat. I had worked so hard on it. I growled again and pushed my hair to the side so it wouldn't be in his way .Then I stubbornly crossed my arms.

He slowly began working his hands down my dress propping the buttons from their holes. The cold air came rushing back to my frail body. I felt rather uncomfortable as his thumb accidentally brushed an area that my corset didn't cover my skin. The room seemed to get warmer. I bit my lip as the buttons grew lower. He moved his hands carefully as if I were a rose he was delicately cherishing in fear of crushing my soft pedals. Once he had finished I turned around. My heart was thriving in my chest uncomfortably. Neither of us said a word. I nervously racked my hair over the right side of my face covering my bruises. I slowly swallowed and bit my lip again. As if he had regained his senses, he cleared his throat and walked away leaving my mind to spin uncontrollably.


	6. Opening My Ears

Silence had folded its strong hands around the two of us. I dared not say a word. Such a simple thing had stirred our emotions so quickly. Did I like it when he touched me? The thought of me savoring that man's touch sickened me. Yes I am grateful he is tending to my wounds and taking care of me, but that doesn't change the fact that he is a stubborn man with a fierce temper. I sat for a moment to ponder these things, but quickly grew sick of the quiet. I would talk to anyone at the moment, even him.

I slowly forced my body upward using my hands and legs. I then realized how weak my mussels were. My whole body tingled.

The state of my weakness frustrates me. I am sick and tired of lying down. It had been so many days since I had seen light. I just wanted to scream. I walked slowly waving my hands in front of me and patting my feet on the ground. When my hands hit something I slowly stepped to the left until the path was clear. I had even made my way out of the room before I heard the man shout, "Watch out!" before I tripped over a step and came falling to the ground.

I grumbled as he came to me trying to pull me up by my arms, I shook his arm away. "I don't need your help," I spat.

"Yes I can see that," he said, mocking me.

I turned my face as far away from the sound of his voice as I could.

"How old are you child?" he asked me.

My lip curled in disgust. "I'm not a child," I argued. I now felt downgraded to age two.

"Hmm, I'm guessing you're about sixteen or seventeen." He commented. I nearly took that as a compliment.

"About," I agreed not bothering to correct him.

"Can you sing?" he asked as I stood up.

Why did it matter to him? "No," I said. The truth is I can reach very high notes easily, but it is nothing compared to Christine Daee's talent.

"Can I hear?" he asked.

"No," I snapped. I didn't want him hear my voice and make sport of it.

"I could teach you," he offered. I wasn't warmed by the offer. His cold voice still sent chills down my spine.

"Why?" I asked.

"What else do you have to do?" he said. He had a good point.

I shrugged. He was right. I had nothing better to do. He gently took my hands and started to guide me forward. I cursed at my body for tingling with urge. His hands were so very large. I could even feel muscles in his thumb. My sudden desire only strengthened my rage. It continues to infuriate me that whenever he is in breathing distance of me my conscience disappears. None of this changed the fact that I still utterly loathed him.

"Now," he said shoving my shoulders down and causing me to sit on a bench. "Try to hit this note." An unbelievably high pitched scream escaped some type of instrument. Was it a piano? I crossed my arms and began to laugh. He must be kidding. I had never heard such a note mouthed by a single walking person.

"Fine, try this," he said giving me a slightly lower, yet still painfully high note.

"Um, I'm not sure who you think I am, but I'm positive that whoever I may be, it's definitely not an opera diva." I said shaking my head.

"You could at least try," he said in his raspy angry voice.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "You'll laugh at me," I nearly shouted.

He sighed as well. "Fine, If you try I promise I won't laugh at you," he said almost mechanically

I bit my lip before he hit the same key again and braced myself. I opened my mouth and was surprised to find I actually reached the note. When my confidence began to soar it soon came crashing down as my voice broke with a loud screech.

"Told you so," I moaned. I waited a moment for him to reply, but heard no movement.

"Um are you there?" I asked, but was interrupted by a cold finger catching me off guard and brushing my neck. I yelped out in surprise. It was an immediate reaction that I now regret, realizing of course, that he had been behind it.

"That scream was pretty high pitched. Perhaps you've been holding back." He said.

"Why you," I yelled. "You did that on purpose!" I swung my hands around in an attempt to strike him, but he dodged my blows. The room filled with his cold laughter. The entire time he had only touched me to catch me off guard and prove his point.

"It's good to be angry sometimes. You can use your emotions. I can teach you how to do that as well, but you must realize that you have more potential then you think." He said.

I narrowed my useless eyes in anger and shot a nasty scowl at him.

"What do you know of any of these things?" I asked.

"Enough." He said sitting next to me.

"I'd like to see you try and hit that note." I teased. I knew by the tone of his speaking voice he had to be an alto.

He only laughed. "I'm sure you would much rather hear this," he said playing what had to be the lowest note. He sang the note perfectly in tune. Not one scratch escaped his voice. With that single note parting his lips I believe I actually grew wings. His voice was like a quire of angels. It was as if the gates of heaven had opened to shine blinding light on my face. I could nearly feel the warmth. .

"It's beautiful," I mouthed. I could no longer hold the dreamy gaze my face began to form. I had never heard such a sound. Christine was nothing compared to this man. Surely he had to be an angel.

A huge hand reached for mine and placed it upon his throat to allow me to feel the vibration of his voice. My eyes slowly fluttered closed. I no longer knew who I was or why I was here, but none of that mattered now. The music gave me everything I ever wanted. My eyes burst open with tears as I opened my mouth and gasped for air. My ears had never allowed me to hear such a sound. It is as if each sound I have ever heard till now has been a lie. My ears have truly been opened.


	7. Laughing a Silent Scream

"Surely this angel must have a name," I cooed dreamily.

"I've only been called that by one other. I'm sorry you are mistaken. If there is any title I deserve it is demon. You still have not seen the darker side of me. I'm afraid there are some things that I will have to hide from you. Not all music makes you float on clouds my dear." He said, once again converting into his cold unfeeling self. The harshness of his words made me tremble.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Your innocent ears have been deft to many things. There are feelings you have not yet truly discovered. Desire is too small of a word for what I can show you. I could also make you feel so much pain you wouldn't need to bother filling your body with food or drink. All the warmth from your body would leave you and your heart would barely utter a sound, but that is why I cannot show you. Your delicate ears would not be able to handle such a sound." He said. I could hear a swirl of wind by my ear as he raised his hand as if to touch my face.

"I want to feel. Please show me more." I begged him. For so long I had been numb. I wanted him to give me something to grasp, anything other then pain.

"Slowly child, I wouldn't want you to die of shock.

"I'm not a child!" I protested. I sighed and turned the bruised side of my face away from him and placed a hand on my mound of swollen flesh that now serves for a nose. It suddenly occurred to me how terrible I must look. I bit my lip to hold back tears.

"Is it terrible?" I asked, a bit afraid of his answer.

"I've seen worse." He commented.

He was just trying to avoid saying yes. I sighed and replied, "So basically I look terrible. What about my eyes? Will I ever be able to see again?" He paused for a moment. The silence made me choke with a wave of fear.

"I don't know." He said. With that I broke. I could no longer hold back my cries. I bitterly sucked in air and turned my face away to try and hide my tears. He didn't say anything. He understood my pain.

"The sun seems so far away now." I whispered.

"Welcome to my way of living." He said.

I desperately swirled around and tried to escape from his eyes. I didn't want to break down in front of him. The music was no longer in me. It no longer filled the empty pit that once held my heart. Now all that remains is a rotting pile of ash. My soul had turned to ash that day along with my love's body.

As I sank into my dark corner, I tried to erase the thought that was screaming within. Somehow I knew who this man really was. I had believed at first that his acts of kindness proved me wrong, but I always new. Despite these facts, madness still reins within my darkest core. I can no longer control it. I can only laugh in my despair. This laughter is not warm and lighting. This laughter shakes my soul and carries the icy cold stench of death. Regardless I still laugh in my defeat. I still laugh even though my mind has been scorched as well.

"Perhaps he is my dear Gian coming back as an angel. Yes, that is why he sings to me of how much he loves me. He is now an angel. That is why he is so talented. Yes, he's been to heaven, but God must have sent him back to me." I whispered out loud to myself while hugging my knees and rocking back and forth, not acknowledging the fact that not a single word I had mouthed had made any sense. My painful laughter had turned into a mass of hiccups. I carelessly swallowed my tears and began to drown within my own sorrow. This was my new lullaby, my sweet bitter song. The unwinding path of madness is now before my eyes.


	8. Sensuality Beneath Wings

"_Oh my, it is so beautiful tonight. Look at the stars," I said pointing a finger past the large daunting gargoyle._

"_mmm hmm," Gian only mumbled. His eyes were nailed to the floor. His mind seemed to be elsewhere. _

"_What is it?" I asked, suddenly curious to know what it was exactly that occupied his entire attention. "Didn't you bring me up here for a reason?"_

"_Yes. I'd like to ask you if I could give you a kiss." He requested as plainly as if he were asking me to pass the sugar at a restaurant._

_My chin slowly moved into my neck. I backed away in surprise. He had completely caught me off guard. Being the outspoken person that he is, it wasn't even a challenge to ask me something so personal. _

_I could no longer hide the smile that broke on my face. He slowly strutted towards me, eyes casually bouncing from the floor to my eyes. My lips began to part with each graceful step. He slowly cupped my head in his hand and leaned in. Our position had diverted from friendly to passionate so quickly._

"_Your love _is dead," a voice whispered somewhere far away. I opened my eyes as I was slammed upon the cold floors of reality.

Confused tears streamed down my face, but no cry escaped my lips. I closed my eyes and refused to let the better of them loose.

Did any truth remain in my existence now? Everything that I believe seems to erode from my grasp.

"You may never truly live until you allow your love's body to die. You cannot keep grasping onto something that is dead." A low soothing, yet intimidating voice whispered. The voice carried a thousand death angels on the wings that appeared so innocent. A sensual twist, a seductive taste was hidden behind the false innocence.

"How do you know of this?" I asked as a servant, not as a curious child.

"I know many things that you've never even dreamed of. "He replied.

I now wondered if this voice that I had believed was a man was truly mortal. "What gives you the power to speak through my dreams?" I asked quietly, almost hoping he wouldn't hear in fear of his power.

"Your simple mind child, you will never be able to comprehend the world I know. There is so many things that you have been too mentally blind to see." He said.

"My love is here. He came back to me!" I tried to reassure him. I tightly grasped my dress and bit my bottom lip trying to block out the truth in his words.

"Your love is dead." He said once more.

"NO!" I screamed and placed my hands over my ears. I lay on the bed, shook my head, and started humming joyfully, despite my tears.

It wasn't long before he violently ripped my hands from my ears and placed them on my legs. He violently gripped my shoulders, causing them to bruise beneath his fingertips. "Listen," he spat violently in my ear. I was silenced by his rage. I didn't dare to even flinch. I could feel him standing over my body. "I heard you talking to yourself. You've gone mad! Don't you dare think you're the only one in this world that has suffered loss!"

I don't know how, but somehow his words caused the madness to dissolve. I flinched trying to comprehend that the very power man that is holding me, also has feelings of his own. My emotion must have shown because he slowly loosened his grip around my arms. When he was off of me, I still felt his presence. I felt his eyes searching my body. What was it that he was looking for? Perfection? If so he won't find it. If he posses such a value, he will not find another creature that also caries his perfection. Or had he already lost her?


	9. The Reflection

**Author's note: ok I know it sounds hopeless for either of them to tolerate each other at the moment, but don't ditch the story! Have some faith! **

Every morning is growing more familiar to the last. I'm slowly discovering the unknown secrets of darkness.

I can no longer sleep for the voices haunt me in my dreams. I dread the thought of this man controlling my mind when I am most vulnerable to his wishes.

Fear is the most powerful weapon, and with this you can have anything you wish. Herewith, he has successfully chained me to my own emotions.

For weeks now I have found my way to the piano and patiently waited for him to hand me food. I was too consumed by my own fear reject it, even though the taste of food made my stomach turn.

I only uttered a sound when the man instructed my singing.

I knew he loved the power. I could feel his craving for complete control. He is a man that is used to getting his way, and he continues to receive it.

It no longer mattered to me that my voice was blooming so stunningly. The man is inviting me into his nightmare, and it is becoming my way of life.

One day he said, "In time you will learn to use your other senses. Your face is recovering rapidly. You'll never love darkness, but you can learn to tolerate it. I could fasten a cane for you."

I squirmed at the thought and turned my head away from the sound of his voice. I was disgusted by every word he said.

Many moons passed before my mind understood I had nothing to loose. I wanted to slowly work a piece of glass through his strong chest and feel his blood on my fingers as his faint heart beat faded. I would enjoy the thrill, but the idea of ending my own life is a slightly more inviting idea. Eternal fire was beginning to sound soothing compared to the hell I was in.

My temper had begun to overflow. I could no longer contain my madness.

The voice was silent. He sat next to me waiting for me to sing. A very long silence fell over the room. My mind was racing with possibilities. I was on the edge of doing something insane. I have no weapon, only my anger. I snapped.

I screamed loudly and flung the sheets of music that lay on the organ across the room. The papers fluttered loudly like a swarm of large birds. This only fed my anger. I jumped off of the bench and ran madly across the room bumping into things and pushing them over. My legs began to throb from running into everything, but this didn't stop me. My mind began to race with fear for my consequences yet I pushed onward.

It wasn't long before the man roughly grabbed my waist and threw me onto the floor. He began shouting out curs words and fumbling through the mess I had created.

"Now look what you've done! You knocked over a candlestick!" he yelled. I clung to the floor and tried to regain the air that had been driven from my chest as he attempted to put out the fire.

I rolled over on my side and my skin met something cool. I reached out my hand to touch it. It was definitely made of metal. I grabbed the sides, but quickly pulled them away after the metal sliced through my skin. A stab of pain and the trickle of blood rushed down my boney fingers. "A sword," I whispered to myself. I softly ran a finger down the middle until I found the handle and grasped it. I was careful to listen and locate where the man was before raising it too high. I didn't want him to see. I carefully stood up and raised the sword in front of me after determining he was behind me. I firmly grasped it with both hands and tipped it downward so that my body covered its view. I braced myself and tried to form a plan. My hands began to tremble violently. It had appeared so simple in my mind, but now my whole body was shaking with fear. What if I don't succeed? What if he catches me before I can attack?

"You're holding it wrong," a voice whispered in my ear. I nearly screamed. I quickly swirled around and held the sword firmly in front of me. My heart was throbbing rapidly within my chest.

A large hand quickly reached behind me and corrected my grip. I screamed in surprise. I stood still and waited for a sound, but the man was exceedingly light-footed. I couldn't keep up. He began talking to me, but his words came from different areas of the room.

"Let.. Your ears.. become… your eyes…….," he said. I swung my sword towards the sounds, but I was too slow.

I stood still and held my breath. My ears had changed since I lost my eyesight. They've become keener to my surroundings. I also learned that I could feel vibration through the floor. I slowly lowered to my knees and leaned on one hand. I allowed my fingertips to detect the directions of the vibrations. They had grown sensitive enough to perceive waves. I could almost see the movement. I quickly swung my sword across the ground. Heavy breaths met my ears, and more vibrations rattled at my fingertips, but the sword hit nothing. He had dodged the blow. I stood up and paced myself once more.

"Good," he said from behind me. I spun around and attacked again, but failed. "Now you know that the ears can be deceiving as well."

He was slowly revealing my senses. I tried to think of what other senses I could use.

Smell, he always wore strong cologne. I could easily smell it if he were close.

I waited patiently for my prey to walk strait into its trap. I stared strait forward and kept my head still when I heard a sound. I waited for him to come to me. When his smell met my nose I aimed for were I believed his heart was.

I hit something. The sound of metal clinging together rang in my ears. I backed away and tried to comprehend what had just happened.

He had blocked me with another weapon.

I continued to walk backwards until I ran into a table. My sore, week knees gave in from under me and I fell backwards onto the surface. My back came down hard on a pointy object, and I yelled out in pain.

The man grabbed me by the hair and gently laid the pointy end of his sword on my throat. "I could kill you right now," he said slowly taking the tip of the sword and running it gently down my throat to the top of my left breast without leaving a scratch.

"Go ahead," I dared him. "I have nothing to loose." I said laughing. I quickly grabbed him by the shoulders and swirled around so that I was the one above him. I pounded the middle of his arm so that he dropped his sword. He desperately gasped for air.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Your reflection," I answered.

"I miscomprehended you." He admitted.

"I've changed more then you know," I answered.

I didn't move, and neither did he. A familiar silence that I had experienced before in his presence drifted in-between us once more. The distance between our bodies was narrow, but we kept it that way.

**Author's note: oh the things we all know, but won't say out loud! I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows while writing that last line. Who knows what turn I'll take next?**


	10. Diodore

As much as I wish to forget my existence, I can't forget the person I used to be. The image of her ghost haunts me still.

Do I feel different? The girl I've become is so diverse from the other. A wall now separates us from each other, and I can't get her back. I try to remember how I had been before I was exposed to the darker side of life, but that girl is so far away now.

Last year you couldn't have found a soul more content then I. Now I find myself regretting how far I have drifted from loves touch on my own will.

Today is Denise's sixteenth birthday, my birthday.

* * *

"Is it a piano?" I asked sliding my dress out from underneath me and placing it on the bench as I carefully sat down. The man gently grabbed my hand as if he was afraid of his own strength and safely guided me to the left side of the bench. "I don't need your help," I said slipping my hand away from his once he had finished the task. I raised my head high with pride. "I can do it myself". The man only cleared his throat as if to question my abilities.

"It's an organ." He answered, The low tone of his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well how would I know? Have you forgotten the fact that I'm blind?" I growled.

He only sighed.

"Do you play well?" I asked. A slight evidence of playfulness twitched my lips.

"I could demonstrate. What do you wish for me to play?" he asked. A glide of materiel met my ears.

I shrugged.

Although I still have an attitude towards him, somehow a tiny measure of peace is hidden somewhere. The invisible tension that had once been so alive has finally begun to sink. Regardless, it is still present.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy this one," he said beginning to play a familiar piece conducted by a well known man that I didn't know the name of. I sighed and rested my elbow on the side of the organ, placing my chin on my palm in monotony. I wanted to hear **his **music. The type of music that makes my heart soar and gives my soul wings.

"No! Play **your** music," I nearly whined.

"Are you willing to hear how far I can bring you? I'm not sure how such a delicate creature such as you could handle it." He said so passionately he nearly whispered. It seemed as if every word he spoke were a song.

I couldn't resist. My curiosity was taking over. I couldn't ignore my craving for his magical touch. "Show me," I pleaded him. With that high keys began ringing softly within the room. The notes hovered in the air. They slowly built volume and then quickly swooped down. The tune felt like the miserable stroke of cold rain and wind beating on my cheeks. He was creating a storm with his music. Not only could I see the image of the storm as clearly as I've ever seen, but I could feel the cold rain dripping down my body and the cruel wind sending shivers down my spine as if to mock me.

Then the music became louder. The tune was terrifying yet at the same caressed my soul. My eyes fluttered carelessly as the music claimed my senses. Carefully, while still playing with his other hand, the man positioned his hand above mine and began playing with my hands. This way, I was able to feel how his hands moved. The man reached from behind me and used both of my hands to play. In this position, I could feel his chest move with every breath on my back. I quickly closed my mouth that was now hanging open, but once I felt his hands gliding mine across the keys it fell open once more. Whenever the volume increased he would lean his entire body into the organ. His shoulders would roll inwards while his fingers dug into the keys. His movements were passionate and slightly sexual. I bit my lip to try and control myself, but he was taking over. I nearly went insane when he leaned down to send his hot breath on my neck. After he had, my mouth dropped open in shock, but my eyes fluttered in pleasure. It no longer mattered to me how madly I was behaving, my soul had already surrendered to his music.

I gave up any struggle within and let my head fall back on his chest slowly rolling it to the right side and closing my eyes in satisfaction.

This went on for so long. He never hesitated to tell me I was too close. As the notes grew softer, and his storm drifted away, I seized my opportunity to discover his mystery.

"Please tell me your name, I'll give you mine." I begged him, turning around so that he could see my face. A short silence introduced his answer.

"I, I don't prefer using my name. My name is a scar that reminds me of my burdens. It was given to me by mistake anyways. "He said softly. I hinted something new in his tone that I hadn't sensed before. I hadn't stopped to think of him ever suffering pain himself, I had been to busy dealing with my own.

"My name is Denise. I could give you a name, a name that only I would call you." I offered. "What name do you believe suits you best?" I asked.

He paused for a moment to consider my question. "Diodore," he answered.

"Diodorus the Greek god of wine, mystery and theater, it suits you." I commented. It was true. He has the power to both drive a woman mad and fill her with desire.

"My real name is Erik, you can call me by this name sometimes, but I'd like it if you wouldn't grow used to it.

I secretly wondered if he would ever allow me to grasp something of his personality. He remains a shadow within my dark world.

"I wish I could see you. I want to see you," I yearned raising a hand in the air to reach for his face. He hesitantly placed my hand in his.

"This is my eye," he said placing my hand on top of a large eyelid. I gently ran a hand down the soft skin and placed my other hand on my own eye to compare sizes. I have been said to have "deep set," or fairly large eyes that most girls would kill for. My eyes were nothing compared to his.

"What color are they?" I asked.

"Green, Emerald green," He said.

"My eyelashes," he said placing his long, thick, tangle of lashes in-between two fingers. I rubbed my fingers together to feel them brush against each other.

"Are they dark?"

"Very, they are as black as my eyebrows and my hair, Ink black."

"My nose," He said resting my hand on a side of his nose and quickly pulling it off. I thought to comment his swiftness, but stopped myself.

He also placed his hand on his ears and allowed me to feel his cheek. His skin was quite rough so I knew he must shave frequently. I slowly bent my fingertips around his cheek and ran them down his face.

"My lips," he said allowing me to feel the huge tender flesh underneath my fingers. A tingling sensation shot from the place I touched his lips through the rest of my body. I slowly ran my hands from his lips to his chin. I couldn't bring myself to stop. My hands slowly discovered the muscles in his neck and brushed the side of his collar. My heart was bursting in my chest and I couldn't bring myself to stop.

"Oh God what am I doing. Who knows how old this man is. He must be twice the size if me. His stern nose, long lashes, and large soft lips, oh God it's driving me insane. What the hell am I doing?" I said to myself. What scares me even more is, I like it.

I quickly pulled my hand away before I lost my will entirely. Every time I'm near him I melt. "Have I forgotten Gian so quickly that I've ran to the first man who can satisfy my lust?" I thought, wanting to beat myself. "No, he's so much more then that. I can't help it anymore."

"Denise?" Erik whispered, slowly laying a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm ok," I reassured him, assuming he was curious why I had stopped.

**Author's note: Don't tell me the name is dorky. I don't know that much about Greek mythology, but I think the meaning of the name suits him. Don't worry, she won't be using it that much, but it might come in handy. **


	11. Before I Fell

**Author's note: About the name, Diodore is Diodorus in French (also spelled Dionysus)**

**I wanted to get across how much Denise, (yes in the beginning it was Denise unless I typoed) has changed. The phantom is a hard core character living in a hardcore, boundless world. Denise is turning into a pretty hardcore girl herself, and is beginning to have more things in common with him then before. **

Erik. The man has conveyed me into some kind of blood ravenous monster. He is constantly meddling with my emotions and I travel from one emotional high to the next. Sometimes I will even give in to his powers on my own will, but afterwards I feel sick with myself. I can only stand and watch as he kills all that I am and rapes me of my innocence. My pure soul is now stained with his bloodthirsty desires.

I'm locked in the prison of his fate.

…and yet, I've never known a soul that surprises me more. One moment he'll be yelling at me and then all of a sudden he'll be silent. Though he rarely shows his sweet side, the few minutes he does are worth more then I can offer. He has the power to make you feel you're the most important human being on the entire planet, and he can crush every desire and dream you've ever fabricated. Every time I believe he is the most amazing man that has ever lived, he crushes my feelings and torments my pain in a flick of an eye.

Now that I've been introduced to lust, I can never receive my fill.

He's always on my mind. All I ever do is have dark fantasies of him. I can't control it any more and it sickens me. Every word his deep, sensual voice mutters turns into another one of my distorted desires. Whenever he is near my senses fail me and I no longer judge the world as I normally would. I turn into a defenseless puddle of goo at his will, and right or wrong seems to dwell from my mind.

My heart secretly yearns for his touch. I crave for his bittersweet poison. After all, now that I've had a taste I want to experience it to the full. I want to feel his tongue in my mouth and his hands on my body. Each time the fantasy becomes more detailed and more appalling. God what's happened to me?

I truly was a child. I had been more sheltered from the world then I would have ever admitted. Now that I've been introduced to Erik's enchanting world of feeling and darkness I've reached adulthood. There is no going back now.

"What is it?" Erik asked, noticing the way I was clutching the side of my head. For quite some time I had been suffering terrible headaches.

"It's nothing, just a headache is all," I answered, wishing that we could talk about something else.

"If you're receiving headaches in the very spot you hit your head, it can be." He answered in a slightly fearful matter.

I tried to convince him that it was nothing to worry about while also trying to convince myself. Day by day the headaches grew worse until it reached the point were I could no longer receive any teachings from Erik and had to spend all day in bed. The pressure was so violent it felt as if my head was trying to explode. My entire head, from the top of my skull, to the point of my chin throbbed like mad. Erik even allowed me to scream and cry as much as I wished.

"Diodore," I managed to gasp in despair. Sweat was nearly evaporating off of my body and my arms and legs were beginning to shake.

Erik placed a cold hand on my forehead. "My God you're burning up," he said, his worry causing his voice to lower.

"The.. The roo.. rr room is s s so ccold," I managed to gasp. Warm tears began to flow down my throbbing face.

What happened next, I do not know. I recall him placing a damp cloth on my forehead and grabbing my hand, but the details were a bit hazy. The one thing I never allowed myself to forget was when he laid next to me in bed and wrapped his arms around my body. I weakly pulled my body close enough so that I could feel his chest upon mine. I'm not sure if it was my imagination, or if I was delirious, but I believe I felt his tears on my cheek. By then I was already fading, and the room had begun spinning. I fell into darkness before I could even hear him screaming my name.

* * *

Where am I? Everything is so dark.

Better yet who am I?

"Who's touching me?" I asked, feeling a large pair of masculine hands around my waist. I let out a huge scream and jumped from the person's grasp.

"Who are you?" I yelled, beginning to walk backwards. "Damn, where is a candle? Why is it so dark?" I asked myself.

"Denise?" a concerned and frightened voice called.

"What, who's Denise?" I yelled. Better yet, who am I? I let myself fall on the floor and began to cry bitterly.

I feel so confused.

"Denise," the man called once again, gently placing a hand on my shoulder.

I quickly pushed his hand off and began to crawl backwards. "Don't touch me!" I screamed. What had I done? Had I slept with this man?

"Are you trying to rape me? Is that it?" I yelled.

No reply came, only the faint sounds of him sniffing and sucking in air. Had I caused him to cry?

"I... I'm sorry," I choked, beginning to cry myself. "I don't know what's wrong with me."


	12. Comfort Within My Sorrow

**Author's note: Thank you all for the reviews!** **I get so excited when I read them! If you are reading this chapter and you don't post a review I will track you down and spank you. **

"What have I done?" I speculated, returning from my trance.

I have no idea how long I've forgotten myself or what I've done during the time I was mislaid. Now I find myself in the oddest of circumstances.

I immediately gasped as I felt something in-between my legs. There were ropes bounding my arms and legs around whatever the object was, forcing me to hug it.

"It must be some type of post," I thought to myself.

I'm bound so tightly that I have to lean the painful side of my head on the column. I screamed within realizing my left shoulder is entirely exposed to the cold air. I infer that a rip was made down the seam.

I could feel my cheeks begin to glow.

My first strategy was to loose my senses and just panic. I violently heaved my hands and feet from right to left while barbarically gnashing my teeth at the ropes. The fact that I had abandoned all attempts of self control failed to rattle my mind.

I then came to the conclusion that perhaps Erik had simply gone mad and tied me to this podium in my sleep, but it was indeed I who had gone mad. Yes indeed, tiny shards of memories now began to surface at the level of my mind.

Now I remember. Before I had drifted away he had given me some type of medicine. That might help explain why the headaches are gone. Oh, and he held me so.

My cheeks now began to glow a heavier shade. If only I could have been concise to experience it all.

From that moment on, my memories were but fog.

I'm clearly still in the cave. I can still feel the moisture in the air and I still hear water dripping off of the ceiling.

"Erik," I cried.

"Denise?" he called from behind me. He quickly ran to me and began to cut the ropes that bound me free. They soon broke loose and fell to my feet.

I gently massaged the sore markings in which the ropes had once been and asked him what had happened.

"The headaches were formed from pressure building up inside of your wound.

You passed out and when you woke up you forgot who you were. It was as if every few minutes you became a different person. It scared me."

His words were so tender, yet they didn't explain my situation.

"So is that why you tied me up and ripped off my sleeve?" I spat, beginning to raise my voice. I quickly stood up, forgetting about the sore lines were the ropes had been.

"No," he shouted beginning to step towards me. "I tied you up because you were a hazard to both me and yourself. As for the tare madam, you went insane and used my hand as a tool to rip it off yourself!" he roared.

I nearly gasped at his comment. Had I truly done such a thing?

"Why should I believe what you say? You could have used this opportunity to seize my body without me knowing it." I said, allowing my frustration, bewilderment and desire to pour out within my screams.

The room was beginning to spin, but I had been foolish enough to believe my anger was to blame.

"Why would I do such a thing?" he yelled in a disgusted manor. "Not only are you less then half of my age, I have no reason to rape you! I feel nothing for you. You are a pestering insect in my presence. I have done nothing but serve you for the past months and you still treat me like a monster."

He could have sliced a double edged blade though my tender heart and it wouldn't have left me with as much pain as those simple words did. I didn't bother to try and disguise my tears as they flew down my cheeks.

Did he truly imply all of those heartrending things he told? It surprised even me that he would hurt me in such a way. Had he forgotten all of those peaceful moments between us, or had I dreamt them all up?

My entire head was boiling in misery. He hates me, he hates me and I hate him.

A flash of anger and pain surged though my core, crying for me to do something drastic. Will all of my strength, I swung my fist at his chest. I must have caught him by surprise and knocked the wind out of him. This didn't stop me. Nothing will feed my frustration. I repeatedly sent blows at his chest and he took every single one. The fact that he wasn't hitting me back, or dodging my blows infuriated me more. I whined in anger and started to hit him harder.

"Hit me! Hit me! I hate you just hit me!" I screamed. He allowed me to hit him a few more times before grabbing me by the wrist. I tried to break from his grasp and squirmed as much as I could, but it wasn't even a struggle for him. I soon gave up and waited for him to hit me back.

Tingling pain was flowing through my skin. I began to sob with complete anguish. His words were continuously ringing in my mind. "_I feel nothing for you,"_ The words began to grow louder until my head was bursting. The room began to swirl around me and I quickly lost my footing.

Erik's words barely reached my ears. "Denise? Are you? DENISE!" Erik screamed.

My legs flew from under before Erik gently caught me in his arms. Then the horrifying darkness returned.

* * *

"Denise are you awake?" Erik inquired, gently placed his hand on mine.

The room was beginning to return to me. I was back in the bed.

"Are you alright?" Erik demanded, leaning closer to me.

"I remember.. I remember we were fighting.. Again," I recalled holding the side of my face.

"Denise I didn't mean anything I said," he nearly whispered.

"It happened again didn't it?" I asked.. No reply came "Is my condition serious?"

It took a few miniuts before he could bring himself to answer. "I've been thinking. Keeping you here isn't the best for you. I think you might need surgery.

My eyes widened at his answer, even though they were focused somewhere in space. "No doctor can take care of me like you can." I begged him, my tears returning to my eyes.

"I can't perform surgery on you Denise."

"Sure you can. There isn't anything you can't do." I sighed.

"I'm only a man. I only kept you here because I was lonely and selfish. I should have sent you away a long time ago."

"But if you send me away they will lock me up in one of those cells were they keep the blind and mute!" I cried.

"After you have your operation, you'll be able to see again and start a new life. I've already decided. You deserve so much more then what I can give you. My friend Nadir is coming tomorrow to take you to the doctor. When you recover he will take you to your new home."

"You want me to live by myself? You think that living alone would satisfy me more then … with you? .. I can't go back into the real world now. I belong in the darkness."

"Don't you understand? If you continue to live with me we'll fight like this every day. We'd tare each other to shreds! We hate each other!"

"But.. I thought that we also felt.." I began

"What? Love," he said mockingly.

My tears were welling up in my eyes. I tried to keep them hidden beneath my lids, but they were overflowing like mad.

The tone of his voice suddenly transferred. "Oh, Denise," he cried sympathetically. He gently ran a thumb over my cheek to wipe off my tears. "Please, Please don't cry again." He moaned, his breaths growing louder with his sobs.

I gently leaned into him and rested my head on his shoulder, allowing my tears to madden his shirt to his body. At first his body stiffened underneath me, but when his shoulders loosened up, he grabbed me and pulled my chest to his. We both held each other as our tears united, both comforted by having our arms full.

"I'm sorry I have to do this." He sobbed.

I knew, no matter how much I tried, I couldn't change his mind.


	13. A Forgotten World

**Author's note: Thank you all for reviewing. I'm sorry that it's been taking me a while. I've been really stressed and busy lately. I hope you all understand. **

**I rewrote this chapter a few times, I hope you like it even though I rushed a bit. **

My wake up call this afternoon was like a stab in the back.

As the activity in the room increased, I became more aware of the chaotic fuss. People embarked on thrusting medicine down my throat, poking, jabbing, and driving objects into my skin.

The room was practically buzzing around me. I must have still been heavily medicated, and was utterly nubilous and frustrated at them for not staying still. Their Swift movements vibrated in my sensitive ears.

I want to cry so badly, but I can't even do that. Had they decided to take a knife and carve out my eye? It felt as if they had. I was too afraid to touch my bandages in fear of feeling an empty socket. If it could have been any surgery but this, I would be able to handle it, but this is too much to bear.

It angered me that they expected me to cooperate when I could barely lift a finger. I was tempted to through something at the nurses but was in too much pain to even lift my head.

I've been told that the procedure lasted four hours, though it felt as if it were only a few moments ago. There wasn't much they could do for me but give me alcohol to drown the pain and pray that I won't receive an infection.

Of coarse I assumed the pain would reduce from that moment, but no, that was only the start of a living hell. The second day was worse. It felt as if my eyes had been set fire and with each day the flame spread throughout my face. I tried numerous different positions in bed, I tried to focus on something other then the pain, but nothing helped. The only way I could get rid of the pain was to sleep as much as I could. I figured that I'd rather sleep and forget my pain then stay awake and face it.

* * *

I dreamt he was there. It was so real I could taste it.

It had begun with the dress. I had delicately ran my fingers down the fabric before putting it on, and admired the way the material appeared so tenuous, yet felt so smooth at the same time. I remember slipping it on and enjoying the tingling cold sensation that the tops of my breasts received. The dress was slightly seductive, but under the circumstances, necessary.

What pains me even more is how convinced I am that it was all real. My joy was once again obliterated by the coldness of reality. Right before the doors swung open to reveal the isle my pain returned.

"Erik," I cried.

Deep inside my tears were bursting.

"Shhh," a familiar voice whispered like a lullaby. "It's alright."

"Nadir is that you?" I asked digging the back of my head into my pillow. I recognized the slight Persian accent that I had become accustomed to over the past few days. He had kindly brought me to the hospital and has always remained by my side.

I began to tremble in agony. Suddenly the room felt so cold.

"Do you need a nurse?" he asked.

"No..." I replied grabbing my forehead.

I sighed and turned on my side to were his voice was directed. "How is he?" I asked, still trembling.

"I think he's more concerned about you."

"Then why won't he come for me?" I tried to demand.

He wouldn't answer me. He didn't say a word, only sat there in silence searching for the correct answer.

* * *

It's come to the final moment. My heart pounded violently as they began to unwrap the material from my around head. As each layer fell to the floor light began to stream through, slowly bringing the world into view. It seemed to grow at such a slow pace, I secretly yearned to leap up and rip the rest of the bandages off myself. As the last bandage fell to the ground a silence seemed to echo off of the walls.

I quickly swirled around the room with adrenalin flowing through my veins, intaking everyone's physical appearance. I began to make a sport of matching the memory of the nurses voices with their, awestruck facial expressions. Each one stared at me as if I had grown three heads.

"So this what a smile used to look like," I cooed to myself, intaking the young, beaming, blond nurse across from me. I hadn't realized how different the world was when my eyes were closed. I had somehow forgotten just exactly how everything flowed together. I rapidly held my hands to my face remembering how they had once appeared.

As odd as it is, I had forgotten how I used to look. I even managed to somehow forget how people normally appear

. I knew that I had grown thinner. My pale, boney fingers appeared slightly unhealthy. I quickly tilted my head down to examine my figure. My stomach had decreased, but shockingly enough I had gained weight in other areas. I almost gasped at the enormous size of my chest, at first I was curious as to if they truly belonged to me.

"May I see a mirror?" I tried to ask politely, but was nearly bouncing.

A young female nurse quickly pulled, small silver handed mirror from a table and handed it to me. I quickly grabbed it and stared into my reflection.

I almost find myself wanting to scream at the face that gazes back at me. The only way I could identify the girl was the fact that she was wearing my facial expression. This face is the exact opposite of the girl I had once known. She wares a soft, extremely pale complexion, complemented by dark blood red lips and slightly rosy cheeks, and next to her hair her blue eyes are extravagant. My hair! How had it evolved from blond to black?

Since I was young I had always bathed in the sun and had grown Farley tan. The reason could lie in my lack of sun. I had been born with black hair, but the sun had drained the color from it.

The modern day dream of beauty was staring me in the face. Yet, I still feel empty.

Why do you ask? Has she gone mad? I have everything I wanted. Why do I still feel as if something is missing?

Looking in the mirror is like pouring vinegar down my throat. Denise is dead. I no longer deserve to carry her name. Her body and soul lie in hell.

I shunned the mirror from site, wishing to see no more of it, hate for my face surged violently through my skin.

"The sun," a voice whispered from within.

I hadn't seen the sun in so long.

I pushed past the small audience of nurses and flew from the curtained area. I found myself in a large building filled with beds. Some were occupied, most were concealed behind curtains. I glanced from left to right until I saw an intriguing door that seemed to almost glow and ran towards it, ignoring the fact that I was barefoot and nurses were chasing me. I flew the door open, greeted by the loud clash of thunder and pitter patter of rain as it began to fall from the sky. I ran into the street and gazed upward. The sun had decided to hide itself from me behind the black clouds. Rain beat down upon my body madly while wind violently slapped me in the face. I opened my mouth and held out my hands to absorb the storm. I slid open my eyes to admire the bright flash of lightning, regardless of the fact that it was shaking the ground from underneath me.

I was no longer afraid of death, in fact I was praying one of those powerful bolts would strike me. Not because I wished my own death, but I was drawn to the beauty of the powerful flashes of bent light and vibrant color. My heart burst with each stream of light. The beauty of it all brought forth a peculiar urge within me to grasp it in my hand, but it was not long before the nurses heaved my shivering, drenched body back into the hospital.


	14. And Her Name Is Annoyance

**Author's note: Thanks for commenting. I do respect your criticism and I've changed the ending of the last chapter a bit. **

**About the surgery, it was rare back then for most types of blindness, yes. Have in mind this isn't that long ago. It was only a few years before the beginning of the 20th century. In Denis's case, she was not permanently blind. She was very lucky though. You probably know this but, germ control wasn't too great back then and people often died of infections. They'd often just give people alcohol to ease the pain, which was her case. **

**Erik told Denise that Nadir was to take her to the hospital in chapter 12 I believe, but perhaps I wasn't descriptive enough. I added a brief description to the last chapter, but if you want, I could add more. **

**Thank you FullMoon-insanity. I first got the ideas for this fic while reading both of the books. In the books the phantom is less sweet. Yes, occasionally he gets in his adorable sexy, sweet modes, but his lifestyle is a bit morbid. I, having a messed up mind, am frightened by the morbid side of life, yet somehow drawn. I think a lot of us are. This fic was going to be even more distorted, but I decided my ideas were a bit much and toned it down a bit. I'm glad you like it! **

"This is your room," Nadir stated lifting a hand and gesturing in mid air. "Everything in here belongs to you. If you peak inside the bureau there are a few dresses." He said smiling at me, noticing my dissatisfactory look.

"Oh, it's not that these things aren't nice enough," I began to reassure him, trying my best to attempt some facial evidence of happiness, though my heart a confused stir of sorrow and excitement.

He simply nodded understandingly, and left me to discover the many objects within the room.

The very large room contained a red, wooden queen size bed with black velvet covers and red goose feathered pillows. I found this rather unnecessary considering the fact that it will only be occupied by one person. Next to the bed was a quant matching red desk with a clear vase filled with red roses. Across from the bed was an aged, faded red bureau. I opened it, greeted by a loud squeal from both sides of the doors, and stole a glance at the dresses.

When Nadir stated there were only a few dresses in the bureau, it was clearly and understatement. I estimated at least thirty dresses were packet inside. I gently ran my hand through the pile, but quickly lost interest, even though not a single one hinted one flaw. I failed to take at heart the fact that so much money and devotion was put into this room. None of that could give me what I truly desire.

I sighed in exhaustion, and turned my head, noticing a set of glass doors connected by a silver knob that led to a charming patio with a gorgeous forest view. I flowed towards the doors and flipped the knob upwards with the side of my pinky, and let the breeze gently part the doors. I gently strolled against the cold breeze and came to rest at the side of the railing.

Fall is drawing near. Leaves are beginning to fade, and the air contains a slightly icy taste.

Next to the balcony, on right side, an enormous tree sprouts a branch that barely caresses the edge. A sudden twinge of adventure spurred in me. The tree was simply calling my name. I clearly must climb its friendly branches.

Without much thought, I quickly pulled off the bottom half of my dress and kicked off my shoes. I carefully positioned myself on top of the railing and slid onto the branch one foot at a time. Though it was thick and strong, I couldn't help but feel a sudden flash of an emotion high, and I simply had to look downwards at the two stories that lay below. The tree was coarse and unpredictable underneath my bare feet. I ignored the fact that pieces of my skin and panty hose were left behind as I progressed upward.

The sunlight was brilliant shining through the spaces in-between the leaves. I crawled upwards, drawn to the sun, and once I found a secure branch, settled upon it.

Never had I truly appreciated such extravagant beauty. Funny how I had overlooked each complicated detail. I had never truly seen before now, the world that is. If you truly look beyond what you see, there is a story behind it all.

Suddenly I have this impulse to capture all I see.

"Ah, Denise," A female shouted from under, taking me by surprise.

I nearly fell backwards, but by some force of tremendous luck, was caught by a branch from behind, whacking me in the back of the head.

"Yes, I see you are very self-contained in deed. Climbing trees in your britches and all." She stated playfully, laughing and poking her head into my view. I carefully lifted myself, using a branch that draped above my head, and peered down to see who had called my name.

Amongst the branches, behind the leaves, was a young girl not much older then I.

Like a small child playing some sort of game, she playfully peaked out from underneath the branches, as if she were attempting to hide from view, yet playfully edged me closer.

The girl was very plain and modest, appearing at first somewhat dull, but her confidence seemed to enhance a broadness in her appearance. Her faded red hair was trying desperately to appear brown, and regardless of the distance between the two of us, I could fairly presume her eyes were a dark shade of gray. She wore a modest dress that was a dark shade of brown, coated with a colorful flower pattern. The dress sheltered every inch of her delicate skin, and flowed from her waist to bring dimension to her hips. The sleeves tightly hugging her wrists, and a large collar peaked out from underneath her white apron.

On top of her mass of faded hair, lies a black bonnet, there to assure no sun will converge with her skin.

How on earth did she know my name? Ah, of course, she must be a maid.

I gently lowered myself to the ground in order to place my feet with caution, and once I had reached the lowest branch, let my legs hang off of the edge before pushing myself off.

"Flora Darveau here to serve," she stated giddily. "And you are Denise... the goddess?" she said edging close, perhaps too close.

As much as I hated to admit it, I found her personality strongly irritating. I had never seen anyone move so rapidly, and it was beginning to pester me.

Does she **ever** stay still?

"You're even more beautiful then he described," she said smiling sweetly.

My jaw dropped in horror and tears began to well in my open eyes. I knew exactly who she was referring to.

_I would have spared her life if she had kept her mouthshut_.

I knew those word's intensions were blameless. Did she truly understand the sting such words could give?

My first impulse was to rip off her face, but I knew I couldn't do such a thing. I still have some kind of heart stored deep inside.

"Denise are you alright?" she questioned with concern, gently placing a hand on my shoulder.

Her stupidity ceases to amaze me! I didn't ask for her pity, I simply wished for her to shut her mouth!

"I'm fine," I said faking a smile and wiping the tears from my eyes. "The pollen must be getting to me."

"Can I fetch you anything?" She asked, rubbing both of my shoulders, depriving me of my personal space.

"A bath would be nice," I said, attempting to casually step aside.

"Anything else?" she asked, not allowing me to escape.

"Um, some paints and an easel?"

"That's all? If you wish for anything else don't fail to ask me. I'll always be around whenever you need me."

"_Great just what I need," I thought to myself. _


End file.
